Leavyn and Piggie

 I got a very special gift today! My special friend Levy let me have a sweet hug after receiving Millie’s Piggie as her very own. Little pig needed a three year old girl to love.

Repent, Humble, Pray and Seek

 The mind is a powerful thing. The mind tells us when to be happy. It tells us when to be sad. It alerts us to danger and tells us to fear. Social Media can be a lot like the mind. As I have scrolled through my feed in the last 24 hours, I have been barraged with many opposing views about the state of our nation and our government. Some people are excited for what the next few weeks hold. Some are mad, discouraged, and even disgusted. Most people are somewhere in the middle, wishing that the future was clearer. Many are hoping that our country makes wise choices. They are desiring a change, whatever that change may be. They are loudly shouting their beliefs hoping to influence others!

The mind demands that we focus on these temporary, earthly things.

Colossians 3:1-2 “If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.”

This verse helps us clear our focus. God wants us to focus on the eternal things. We do not have to be filled with fear about the future of our nation. Instead we need to be living our lives with an eternal view. Does my behavior and actions line up with scripture? Does what I say point others to Jesus or to the world? Is my affections set on these earthly things? Do I fear that I will lose them?

I am not saying that we don’t need to show concern and diligence, following your conscience when you make decisions and how you vote. What I am saying is that God is not ignorant of what is happening in our country or the world. He allows rulers (presidents) to be placed in authority for his purposes.

Romans 13:1 “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.”

In the Old Testament, God often used the rulers, even the evil ones to accomplish his will. He would chastise his chosen people, Israel for their behavior and lack of faith by allowing their nation to suffer under the hands of unjust rulers. Is God unfair? No, he is simply allowing consequences for disobedience to his law. Just as we parents would allow our child to suffer the consequence for disobedience. This is a learning experience and often brings people to repentance. The goal was to bring Israel as a nation to repentance. I hope the future of our nation is not a hard one with the goal of bringing our nation to repentance. God’s word does say in relationship to the nation of Israel:

2 Chronicles 7:14 “if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”

Knowing the nature of God, this very verse does apply to us too. If we REPENT, HUMBLE OURSELVES, PRAY and SEEK GOD’s face (meaning his will), TURN away from wickedness, then he will hear us, forgive us AND HEAL OUR LAND. He laid it out, its up to us to follow HIM.

***Now this was not really a political post. It was encouraging you to seek and live a GODLY life. I have my own political views that I choose not to share. We do not need more dissention and chaos in this country. If you want to private message me and are willing to have a civil conversation, I will share what I believe with you. However, I asked that the comments here not be political in nature. I am not worried who you vote for, but I am worried how you love others. Thanks!

Becoming a Titus 2 Woman

 If you are a lady over the age of about 40, you might want to tuck in your toes as what I am going to talk about today might just step firmly on them.

Do you realize that you are a TITUS 2 woman according to scripture?

What does that mean? Titus 2:3-5 says:

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

Were you aware that scripture tells us how to act as older women? It is straight forward instruction to make sure we behave in a way that shows God is in our lives. We cannot be liars or false accusers. We cannot be drunkards, which applies to more than alcohol. It speaks to being excessive in every area of our lives.

Did you know that not only are your actions being watched by the younger women, BUT that scripture states we must TEACH the younger women? We much TEACH good things. So often our speech teaches bad things. Our complaining teaches others we aren’t thankful. Our griping teaches others they aren’t valuable to us. Our faces show our disrespect and disgust for those around us. Our hearts show in our outward actions. Are you living that truth out? Do you teach women the truth that God desires of them? Do you feel you have the capacity to teach younger women or do you feel inadequate? There should be no fear, scripture is clear what we are to teach them…

First, we teach them to be ‘sober’ which doesn’t apply to drunkenness. It is talking about a sober attitude. An attitude of taking life seriously, not being flippant or flighty.

The next instruction is to ‘love their own husbands’. That instruction alone has so much relevance in today’s world. How easy is it to look at ‘other husbands’ on social media, in the workplace, or even in our churches? Maybe it appears that a friend has the ‘perfect husband’… if you are an aged woman you know there is NO such thing. Most marriages are salvageable, as long as abuse is not involved. Many women just do not want to take the time or effort to work on it, forgiving past wrongs, and choosing to love their husbands. We can all admit that marriage is HARD! If we are going to mess up, it will be with those closest to us, usually our spouse.

It goes on to tell us to teach them to ‘love their children’. The world has many different versions of what loving their children means. To some that means being very permissive, letting them do whatever they want, always serving them, and letting them be children as long as they want. To others it means teaching them to grow up quickly, act like adults, having a heavier hand in discipline, and higher expectations. I am not telling you how to do that or which is right. I have my ideas and they sometimes look different than even what I can do (meaning my heart wants it, but I am tired and often fall short). I would however, give you this thought, IF YOU LOVE YOUR CHILD, you will raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. You will teach them about him. You will desire for them to live their lives honoring Jesus, not themselves. How you put hands and feet to that will differ from family to family, because we are not all cookie cutters.

Next, it talks of being ‘discreet, chaste,’ these are both action words about our behavior.

Discreet means “careful and circumspect in one's speech or actions, especially in order to avoid causing offense or to gain an advantage.”

Chaste means “without unnecessary ornamentation; simple or restrained.” We are to be keeping ourselves in ways that keep our minds, hearts, and bodies for our own husband and the Lord. Both words scream CAUTIOUS to me. Being ever so cautious in all I do, so that I am not misunderstood to be a woman of ill behavior.

Finally, it says ‘keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands’. In today’s world, women are not valued when they are homemakers and wives. All too often we are pushed to be more, do more, achieve more. In reality, the greatest thing we can do and the biggest thing we can be entrusted with is caring for our husband and children. To honor and love your husband is to allow him to know you trust him, you believe in him, you adore him. It allows him to rest solidly in your relationship so he can go and conquer the world. Do you believe he is in a daily battle when he is out of your home? He IS! The world battles for his mind, his heart, his actions. It stands ready to tempt him to unrighteousness. It rejoices in seeing him fall and marriages destroyed. Do you help him fight it? Do you train the younger women to help their husband fight?

As we have broken down this set of verses, it can become overwhelming especially if you feel weak in these areas. I ask you to remember Jesus does not require perfection. He died for you on your worst day. He loved you when you were a wretched sinner. He only asks for our hearts. We serve out of a willingness to put our love and gratefulness to action. Like a cup that is filled up, we must pour out so we can keep being filled.

Finally, I will leave you with a confession. I often feel inadequate to lead and teach but if God is calling me, I must step up and answer. In my years of marriage and motherhood, I have sat under too much good teaching to just sit on it. I must share… I have to CHOOSE to be the Titus 2 woman.

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Telling the World

 It’s the last day of September. A month we remember to bring awareness to what our kids go through as they fight.

A Mundane Life

 Today felt mundane or so I though as I reflected on what this word means. Once I read the following definition, it only seemed partly true.

1. lacking interest or excitement; dull.

2. of this earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual one.

It was hard to get going this morning. I don’t know if it was grief or just laziness, but I couldn’t seem to get moving. I was still in jammies at 11, eating breakfast at 11:30. While I ate, I sat down to study my bible, but had a hard time focusing. Our Sunday School class is going through the book of Isaiah, where he is pronouncing the coming judgement of the nations of the region but also the future judgement of non-believers. I read and reread, but in the end had to put it away. I couldn’t keep my mind focused.

The way the morning started was not a good plan. Any day we don’t get moving well, is a day filled with pressure and stress. Any extra stress causes me anxiety. It shouldn’t and I can see it coming a mile away. I can tell myself to BREATHE, to let it pass, but physically it feels like I’ve drank about 10 cups of coffee and am suffering a caffeine rush! I didn’t, only about 8 (!) looking back. I drink from a coffee mug that holds 4 cups each morning, but when I stopped at McDonalds for lunch, I got a large, iced coffee. The only upside to this story is that I don’t drink it sweet. Anxiety can make my body ache and my skin feel like I’m ready to crawl out of it! Yuck…

After some school, we ran errands in the city an hour away. Banking, shopping, UPS, and an orthodontist appointment for Miss K. Next, we went to a JR High football game to watch Miss A cheer. She did so well, I was proud of her! Finally, we ate at a local Mexican food restaurant making it home by 8:30. Our children are now doing homework in preparation for tomorrow. All that wears me out! It makes me grateful for days we can just stay home and be.

Back to the mundane, today’s activities held little excitement and were mostly dull, but needful. I was excited to see A cheer and to visit with different friends at the orthodontist and the football game. The highlight was having dinner as a family, something we don’t get to do a lot of lately.

It is interesting that the second definition for mundane focuses on it being earthly rather that spiritual. Life can get like that, we focus so much on the here and now, we forget to see the big picture. As I’m typing this, I am seeing how my Sunday School lesson on Isaiah goes right back to this. They were so focused on the impending destruction they could not see the future and more destructive forces coming. In the following scripture it shows us how this earthly focus can choke out the word of God, keeping us from living a fruitful life.

Mark 4:19 “but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful.”

This scripture comes from the parable of the sower. In this story, God’s word, the seed is sown. However, because of where it lands, not much of the seed sprouts and is usable. I want my life to be useful for the Lord. I want his word to be well rooted in my life. I want it to be my guiding force. That is the desire of my heart and petitions in my prayers.

Deepest Sorrow to Greatest Joy

 From deepest sorrows to greatest joys, today held emotions of both. Standing under a deep grey sky, I attended the memorial service for Bristol this afternoon. What a precious young lady remembered by so many with endearing stories, great love, and beautiful things bathed in pink.

I was so grateful Levy’s mama went with me for both company and support. My heart broke for Bristol’s parents as I understand all too well how they miss their girl. It was also another opportunity for me to gather with the staff, nurses, child life, and doctors from 10W, Millie’s home away from home. To once again say “thank you” for the difference they made in our lives. My heart and eyes were both full.

After we left the service, I headed to a wedding reception. This day, long overdue, was such a joyous one. This sweet couple of 6 months had their wedding interrupted by quarantine. Although they still married, they didn’t get to be celebrated until tonight. This beautiful bride is like another daughter to me. She and her siblings have grown up around us. Our families spend many holidays together. We laugh together, weep together, and do life together. I am so grateful for good friends

The highlights of my evening was little man asking me to dance with him. It was a fast song, but he said “no mom I want to dance like this”. Then he put his arms around my waist to “slow dance”. Also Daddy and I won the title of longest married on the dance floor, so the bride gave me her bouquet. Precious sweet memories

For the heart to hold so many emotions in one day is amazing yet comforting too. Our sorrow will turn to joy if we keep our focus on Jesus.

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Are you enough?

 A few of you have heard me share this story in person. I journaled this about 6 years ago so some of the numbers and facts are a little off. It was before Millie was born. It was a time in my life when I was evaluating if I was a good Momma? Did I measure up? Do you ever wonder that? Do you ever feel like everyone ELSE is a great mom and then there is YOU?? If so, this might speak to your heart.

I have always wanted a blog where I could tell it like it is... could let it all hang out... could recap the good, the bad, and the really ugly. Well friends today is the day! I will tell you what, just not who makes my life the crazy, lovely, chaotic, beautiful, hectic, wonderful life it is.

First a little about myself....

Here's where I can claim perfection. We have arrived! We are done decorating our lovely farm house to resemble this years Southern Homes and Gardens Farm House edition. Our farm is a self sufficient, 80 acre farm with a beautiful garden, productive fruit and nut orchards, free range chickens and grass fed cows. You will even see our gentle dairy goats frolicking in the lush green fields.

I now have my chore charts posted and the children each do their part to keep house well maintained.

I have a daily, monthly, even seasonal meal plan. My stocked up pantry is fully inventoried, including knowing what is in my freezers. I coupon for every shopping trip, bringing home loads of free foods and toiletries that I add to my stockpile. I never know when I might need to use this bounty.

I have a house full of beautiful, smart, obedient and respectful children. They all rise early each day, work hard all the time, and call me blessed. We have homeschooled for 19 years which might lead you to believe they are slow learners, however they are not...we just have a house full with 8 of them!

I am able to rise early each morning, get my Bible study time in and my exercise time done. This keeps both my mind and body fit and ready for the day.

NOT Hardly!!!! In reality, these are good things to aspire to in and of themselves but they do not lead to perfection. Somewhere along the road of life, we moms were led astray. We were led down a path that leads straight to a river of disappointment when we can not keep up all these self imposed standards. I have to remind myself they are self imposed. I really WANT all the things above, but I am not any less of a good mommy if I don't have them.

So for now, here's how it goes....

I live on an 80 acre non working farm, with a refurbished farmhouse. I am a mediocre decorator and it is time to repaint the walls after being here 8 years already. We have cracks in the walls and a few broken tiles on the floor...it is a farm house after all!

We do have a garden that consists of 8 tomato plants and six pepper plants. The flower beds grow weeds just as well as they do flowers. We sold the goats, the chickens got eaten by coyotes, and the cows belong to our son. We have planted the fruit orchard 3 times, but only 2 trees continue to grow. We do have 80 pecan trees, but by the time you invest in a brush hog and labor to clean the area up, the income is not worth harvesting the trees. The drought doesn't help either!

My daily, monthly, and seasonal food plan is to eat. I don't know what it will be or who's going to make it, but we will eat. I have a rough idea of what foods I have in the pantry. We live far enough out from town that I always buy 2 to make sure we have extra on the shelf. I love couponing but it causes me STRESS. I am not nice to be around when I am trying to prepare my shopping trip.

My children are wonderful. I love each one dearly. The are beautiful...they look like Daddy. Smart (but some times smart mouthed!), obedient unless they are disobeying, and respectful at least in public. The older ones do rise early and work hard. The younger, not so much. In fact, I often let them sleep in just for peace and quiet! They have yet to call me blessed loud enough that I can hear, but maybe that is what they are mumbling under their breath??

We really have homeschooled 19 years and so far have 18 to go... all I can say is wow! I will be almost 60 when I am done!!

I do try to read my Bible, often while nursing the baby. As far as exercise goes, I hate it! I don't want to do it, don't enjoy it, and my body reflects that truth.

Now that I have shared these truths from my life, you can rest easy...you're not alone! Surely I can't be the only mamma who struggles...daily!!??!!

At the risk of taking this scripture out of context, I will leave you with the words of Jesus in John 8:32,

"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

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