Silver Linings...even in 2020

 Have you looked for the silver lining this year? I have seen things going around saying “I’m not setting my clock back. We don’t need an extra hour of 2020!” That’s slightly funny, but at the same time not. The year 2020 has held some major hurts, disappointments, sorrows, and even griefs for many of us.

~ Job loss

~Fear

~Illness

~Working from home

~Schooling from home

~Quarantined

~Masks

~Food and paper good shortages

~Friends and Family divided on so many topics, especially with it being an election year.

This year has held so much unusual tension in addition to the stressors we have walked through.

• Terminal Illness

• Burying a Child

• Job loss (son)

• Medical Bills

I saw a sweet friend of mine posting today about the sorrow their family has walked through in the last year. Their daughter is in treatment for Leukemia. The fear, the pain, the tension, the bills, and every emotion you can imagine all hit hard as they think back over the last year. The praises are that she is a survivor of the first year. The prayer is that she continues to thrive and heal from the wretched disease of cancer!

As bad as all of the things 2020 has thrown at us is, there is still a silver lining. As big of a beating as our family has taken, there is still good. As much as we feel battered, there is still victory. God is still good, he is still on his throne, this did not surprise him, and he still has us in the palm of his hand.

Romans 8:35-39

35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

For our family, we can look back at 2020 and be grateful. We can see quarantine and working from home allowed Daddy to be with Millie during the final months of her life. We can see living on a farm allowed us to enjoy life with bonfires, hayrides, tractor riding, animals, and farm work that gave us time together. We can see our son using his time off to pursue real estate school, to apprentice for a bit with an accountant, and to spend each free day with Millie.

Through illness, we can be reminded to take each thought captive. We cannot live in fear of the future. We must live for today, for who is promised tomorrow?

James 4:14-15

14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.

Even in death, we can find things to be grateful for. Our sweet precious Millie will never hurt again. She will never be scared or anxious. She is in the presence of our everlasting God. She only knows joy, no sorrow. While each of these things we still endure here on earth while we wait for heaven, it gives us hope and a purpose to continue. It helps up stay our minds on finishing well. Completing the race set before us, just as she completed her race.

Just as a huge ship is moved by a tiny rudder, gratitude is the rudder that turns our lives. Gently, ever so slightly, but it steers us in a positive direction. The movements are not big, but the captain trusts that if he moves the wheel above, the rudder too will move and send the ship on its course. What about 2020 are you grateful for?

46 years of memories

 Today, 46 years ago, my momma give birth to a baby girl. It was a wet, stormy night according to her. I was a big baby, over 9 lbs. I do not remember that night. In fact, I do not remember my first birthday either. I do have slight memories of my 2nd or 3rd birthday. A cake my grandma made with a black witch on it and my name misspelled. A new tricycle that I was allowed to ride in the house. Wearing a “Martha Miniature” dress in brown plaid.

My next birthday memory was a rented McDonald land party. The cake with Ronald McDonald on it. The cousins arriving for the party. Playing together in the playground, riding the fry guys, climbing in the “Big Mac” policeman jail. Eating a Happy Meal and getting your own cup of coke. A book that told the story of McDonald land. This was my 4th birthday.

My 7th birthday was a fun night. My mom had a costume party for me. She made me a “Fruit of the Loom” grapes costume and my baby brother was the “Fruit of the Loom” Apple. One gift I distinctly remember was a little plastic box with a handle, much like a purse. It was chocolate brown with the words “Hersey’s” printed on the front to look like the candy bar. I loved things like that. Scratch and sniff stickers, cartoon character lunch boxes, all fun kid stuff!

My 10th birthday was a little less exciting. That year our family was living in harder times. My mom did all she could to make it special. I remember her making two round chocolate cakes and topping them with a paper doily. She then sprinkled powdered sugar on them to decorate with, removed the doily and I had a ‘lacey’ cake top. My momma could make things special from nothing. Games, decorations, and desserts all came from her love and creativity! I am so blessed by her.

After that year, my birthdays do not stand out much until my mid-twenties. My mom hosted a surprise party for me and our oldest daughter whose birthday is just 10 days from mine. I do not remember the year, but I do remember them all coming to our home to surprise me.

Another sweet memory is that each year my maternal grandmother would make me a dessert, usually a slightly burned pumpkin pie of my own for my birthday dessert. I remember the year she made me a yummy coconut cream cake. I enjoyed it the first day and was so sick the second day! I had left it on the counter not realizing the cream would ruin. Sadly, I had to throw the rest out! This same grandma always brought me a card, but usually forgot to sign it. We teased her that she could take it home and reuse it for the next year.

On my 29th birthday, I started the tradition of having lunch with my dear friend Tamy each year. Sometimes it was with our families involved, other times just us two. Her fellowship is always such a blessing in my life. She even decided to make my birthday dessert one year. It was a pumpkin cheesecake. It was so yummy I ate the whole thing and again felt sick, this time from gluttony!

On my 30th birthday I remember David saying, “You have now been married half your life” and then following it up with the joke of “I raised you well”. Since we married as kids, I guess we did raise each other to some extent.

The last few years I do not have any special events or parties that stand out. Maybe I am just forgetful? What does stand out are the little things my children have taken to doing to recognize me on this day. Decorating the kitchen, making a meal, making signs for the table, sending a text or sometimes a call. The greatest gifts I was ever given was these 9 children! Nothing else I get can ever compare to the opportunity to be their mom.

+5

Under Attack!!

 My declaration yesterday was that as I stood at the top of the chasm of grief that I would do anything to avoid slipping in. I gave you the picture of grasping and clawing at the earth to keep myself from tumbling into the unknown of black all-encompassing despair. I believe Satan heard me loud and clear. He knows my focus is toward the LORD. He knows I want to win this battle and so he has turned on the chaos full force around our house.

(((Before I write further, I pause to say this is in NO WAY a plea for anything. We have the funds to cover the expenses. This is solely information that relates to our day)))

In the past 24 hours, our family has come under major financial attack. Satan is crafty. He knows the way to stress a home and a marriage is to hit your pocketbook. We have chosen to agree with some pricy school options this year that has included sports for our teenagers. All these things are needing payment and it seems just as you pay for one there will be another expense. That is just LIFE, right? Especially with kids…

Yesterday, David’s truck needed to go into the shop. What we had hoped was a simple hose, turned into a more complex repair. Around $1000 later, it will have new parts installed and be good to go. Again, that’s life when you drive vehicles…

This morning as David prepared to go to work, we could not find the key fob to his new car. We have a hook by the door, but it wasn’t there. We have checked the laundry, jackets, other cars, grass, barn, etc. Everywhere we look is a dead end. Of course, it is one of the touch-start cars with EXPENSIVE fobs. As he drove my van to work, he took the car title planning to stop at a dealership and buy a new programmed key. Except after calling the dealership they inform you the only key to be had is in Edmond (100+ miles) AND you need the car with you to program it! That is a no go with no way to drive the car…

Next up was to call the locksmith. The SAME locksmith that was here in September to get our keys that were locked inside of our other vehicle. In our defense, we have been married 30 years and these are the only times we have had to call a locksmith. He will be able to come out and program a new key to the tune of $420 (!!) or he might come tonight for an extra $70 overtime. The sad thing is these fobs are so expensive that you can’t afford to have a spare and the car won’t start without it even if you had another key! I am hoping that the previous one finally shows up and it will be our spare.

None of these things are BIG, although all of them are expensive. None of these things are life changing, although they are sanity threatening. All of these things bring a sense of defeat when you are trying to go day by day, moment by moment to seeing some victory. Financially, we learned years ago to follow the principles of Dave Ramsey. We learned to live within our means, owe no debt, and save for a rainy day and a locksmith or two. The Dave Ramsey Ministry changed our family. It removed the stressors in many situations. It gives me peace that God has provided for the needs and it will be OK.

Today’s stressors are the mental kind. The beat down, watching Satan kicking us at the top of that chasm hoping he gains enough ground to cause us to lose our balance and fall. Keep praying friends. God’s purpose is being served though our sweet Millie, her homegoing, and us sharing her story. Lives are being changed! The stories you comment, the private messages you send, the in person encouragement you give us, lets us know that GOD can use our precious little girl’s short life of 3 years and 7 months to change others for ETERNITY.

+5

At the edge of the Abyss

 I awoke this morning with a heavy pit in my stomach. I envisioned standing at the edge of a deep canyon… bigger than the Grand Canyon, with my toes hanging over the edge. A sense of trepidation, a feeling of anticipation of the things to come hung over me like a cold morning midst. It was uncomfortable and seemed to be the foreboding of my emotions for today.

As I stand at this deep abyss, I can not see the bottom. It looks dark, cold, and overwhelming. My heart fears slipping in. It makes me want to grab ahold of anything to avoid going there. A tree branch, a root, even clawing at the rocks and dirt to keep my head above the ledge. As I look down into this inky nothing, I realize it is my grief. As I struggle not to let myself sink into it, to not drown in sorrow. I keep trudging through each new day. My eyes fill with tears as I think about missing Millie. My stomach churns considering how the day will unfold. Will I be able to function or will I fall apart? Will I lose my patience and my temper as I try to keep my irritations in check? Will I cry at the spilled milk, sour attitudes, and the ruined dreams that I encounter? Will my life reflect the grief that I am staring in the face or will it reflect the only hope I have left?

Psalm 33:20-22

20 We put our hope in the Lord.

He is our help and our shield.

21 In him our hearts rejoice,

for we trust in his holy name.

22 Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,

for our hope is in you alone.

The song “IN CHRIST ALONE” points my heart back to Christ. He is the only way to make sense from a dark and dismal moment standing at the edge of despair and beckons me back to his glorious promises. It is a warm and gentle breeze drawing me from the edge, turning my face to the green fields filled with LIFE. Beautiful butterflies, colorful flowers, and springtime all remind me that life is still here to be lived. Children and grandchildren, joys with my beloved, and the calm assurance that when it is my time to join Millie it will be because CHRIST has fulfilled his purpose. Not the blackness of sorrow, but the bright and shining celebration of a life well lived.

https://youtu.be/srEHarh3Wy4

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My comforter, my all in all

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

Till on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

God’s word tells us that we will have troubles. Some will be so big, so deep, so overwhelming, but we cannot stay there. We have to shake free. He overcame this world! So did Millie! “Sin’s curse has lost it’s grip". She is now in a place of no sin, no sorrow, no pain. The glorious day we all see the return of Christ!

John 16:33

33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

As I share my heart so often raw and so very real, I asks that you pray for our family every day. Both the dark days and the shining ones. We do not grieve as those who have no hope. We know Jesus wins in the end. Our life is but a breath until we are together again.

A Joy Filled Package

 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓳𝓸𝔂𝓼 𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓶𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓹𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓪𝓰𝓮𝓼. Consider a newborn baby. The joy that accompanies the arrival after a labor that was so burdened with pain. The sweet tender moments that are a healing balm to a hurting body. Often, we hear people say, “you will forget all the pain the moment you lay eyes on your baby”’. That is true the breathtaking beauty does cause the mind to forget the pain. Not forever, but at least for a while.

I have found that the raising of our children is the same. We have a sadness that they are growing so quickly, yet a joy at all they learn to do. We cheer when they take their first steps and practice with them to say their first mama or dada. We rejoice when they sleep through the night. Each milestone is celebrated and yet mourned at the same time. The first day of school, riding a bike, losing a tooth, getting a driver’s licenses, and graduating from high school are all events we look forward to.

Then they enter adulthood and we anxiously watch as they get their first job, find a spouse, deliver a grandbaby. We pray over them, begging God to protect them. We ask for him to draw their lives close to him. We ask him to direct their steps and help them live in his perfect will. We thank him for every day they are in our lives. We live in a spirit of gratefulness, realizing that each day is precious and each moment a blessing. Somehow life moves so quickly. The years where we thought things would always be one way, quickly move on and change to something else. 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓮𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓹, 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓷 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓷 𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓴 𝓲𝓽 𝓼𝓱𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭.

Looking over Millie’s life with this perspective brings me both great joys and deep sorrows. Her delivery was filled with fear and trembling, but quickly replaced with a tremendous JOY as I held that sweet little girl for the first time on the outside of my body. I knew her after our 9 months together yet meeting her face to face filled my heart to overflowing. Remembering her baby laugh, her soft skin, and fuzzy head all bring a longing to rock my precious baby again. The joyous smile, sweet pudgy hands, and little peapod toes are all sweet memories of the past.

The second year of her life brought great achievements of walking, talking, playing, all part of the toddler life. I remember a shirt that she wore saying “mommy’s bestie” that was such an accurate description. Her hair grew a little and formed some golden curls. She learned to chase Little Man, wrapped her big siblings around her finger, and still she loved to rock with momma. She enjoyed our camping trips and took a trip to Walt Disney World in Orlando.

Her third year of life she became wise to the ways of the world. She could sing along at church but rarely sat still for the service. She loved being outside in the swing that daddy hung from our sycamore tree. She loved her nieces, both playing with the older and holding the new baby one. She adored her siblings, loved the farm animals, and often asked daddy to ‘hold me’. She went to big places getting to see both the Painted Desert and the Grand Canyon, but she was not overly impressed by either.

𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓼𝓱𝓮 𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓷. This was where she first was introduced to sleepovers, yet they were always in a hospital bed. She quickly learned that adhesive remover was cold but helps to remove your bandages. She realized that she could hold still for shots but still needed to yell in fear. She distinctly knew that the things that caused her great pain were also some of her greatest blessings… her Broviac while sewn into her chest kept her from continual needle pokes. Her G-tube, a hole placed into her stomach allowed her to take the dreaded medicine without fear of the taste. Her nurses that loved her so yet had to do so many painful things to her. Millie knew that life was intermixed with sorrow and blessings often at the same time.

The ending of her life again held so much sorrow, so much pain both physically for her and emotionally for all of us. Even now her dad and I physically just HURT missing her. It is an ache that does not dim, a pain in our hearts, and a lump in our throats. Her siblings miss her so much they often fear speaking her name lest they break down and cry.

Tonight, another great joy arrived at our house. Our littlest granddaughter arrived wearing Millie’s coat from last Christmas. Little Man exclaimed how glad he was to see her wear it. He said, “That makes me so happy!” In turn, it makes my heart happy to know that Millie’s things are bringing joy to others. Even in the sorrow of missing her, the joy of her memory is such a blessing. Watching our sweet granddaughter run, play and joke brings the JOY of a young child back into our home. My eyes briefly filled with tears remembering our girl, but my heart swelled with JOY knowing there is still life to be lived here.

𝐻𝑒𝓇 𝓂𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓇𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝒶𝓁𝓌𝒶𝓎𝓈 𝒷𝑒 𝒶 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉 𝒻𝓇𝒶𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒸𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒻𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒶𝒾𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝒹𝑒 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝒶𝓈 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓉𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓈 𝒸𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓃𝓈𝑒 𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒻𝒶𝒸𝑒𝓈.

Philippians 1:3-11

3 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you (𝓜𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓮),

4 Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with 𝓳𝓸𝔂,

5 For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day (𝓝𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓮𝓻 11, 2016) until now (𝓞𝓬𝓽𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻 27, 2020);

6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ (𝓙𝓾𝓵𝔂 8, 2020 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓜𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓮 𝓳𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓙𝓮𝓼𝓾𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷):

𝓐𝓜𝓔𝓝

Life is Hard! Learning Compassion

 Life is hard, right? We all know that is true. We have heard that expression that you are either headed into a crisis, in the middle of one, or coming out the other side. Life throws us a curveball more often than we would like. Sometimes we make lemonade, other times we drown in it! Everybody knows about hard times… that is so true! But do we know the same hard times?

Back in 1992, our hard times were being teen parents to a young children. We were very low income trying to finish high school and work at the same time. As soon as we graduated high school, we both started college, still working. By 1994, we added our son to the mix. David put more hours in working than he ever got to be home, yet he persevered…we even thrived through these hard times together.

In our seventh year of marriage life got hard again. We attended months of marriage counselling, read lots of inspiring books, changed jobs, moved to a new house, and relearned how to communicate with each other. We again did it together…

The fall of 2000, my grandfather’s dementia had gotten really advanced. Taking care of him was difficult on my grandmother and then she had a heart attack. Since their only child has passed away and I was the oldest grandchild, we moved them into our home providing around the clock care. I frequently took my grandparents and three small children to doctor appointments. All the children had their schoolwork in backpacks to keep their hands occupied. Life was HARD. The blessings were HUGE, but the workload was unmeasurable. Grandpa passed away that Christmas, leaving grandma alone for the first time in over 50 years.

In March 2001, David and I went to the doctor and had a vasectomy reversal surgery. This allowed our family to start, once again to grow. Our precious Katherine was born almost a year to the day later, in 2002. During the time between grandpa’s death and Katherine’s birth we had faithfully been grandma’s caregivers. We saw her through a major bowel resectioning and many other illnesses. We helped her when she broke her hand. She sometimes lived with us and sometimes went to her home for a short while until the next need arose. She was in our home the night our sweet Katherine arrived in an almost perfect homebirth. Grandma was so weak, yet she managed to climb the stairs to get a glimpse of that baby girl and make sure this mama was ok. It was an instant bond! By September, I was having gallbladder surgery and was sick as could be. In December, Grandma again went for a bowel rescection but this time I was planning her funeral, rather than caring for her during recovery. Life was so full. So many hard things, yet so much JOY even in the sorrow.

When we had been married 15 years, we bought the farm. It was in shambles! Rotten walls, snake skins in the walls, rodents and bugs, and huge trash piles were everywhere. We spent 9 months replacing sheetrock, flooring, insulation, walls, plumbing, hvac, and electrical. We put a new roof on, built a porch, and took more loads to the metal recycler than we could count. We burned huge amounts of debris and recycled upwards of 90 tires. We sold junk, fixed junk, and replaced junk. We were busy! Most of the work was again done by David who had already repaired our other homes, even flipping one to allow us to buy the farm. I stayed busy caring for my little children at a new neighbor and dear friend’s home. For nine long months they welcomed us in every weekend…It was hard work! Between us we had 14 children and 4 adults in the house for most meals. They are some of our best friends, really family by now. These are cherished memories, and we can never repay them for all their kindness to us. They are such a blessing!

Over the next few years, we had 2 NICU babies, David’s grandmother with dementia move in for 2 years, and a grandbaby came live with us. He has changed job positions, spent a year flying around the country training, which often left me to parent every few weeks alone. We have struggled through raising toddlers, teenagers, and releasing adults. Life has been HARD!

Next, 2019 came along. A year of good things, volleyball games, a family camping trip to Big Sandy, and a vacation to Grand Canyon, all until June 2019 hit. We had family pictures and a few weeks later a cancer diagnosis for our baby. We watched Millie fight for her life. As you know 2020 brought us ultimately having to accept that her time here on earth was short. That was so HARD! It left us to hold her in our laps and plan her funeral and then having to walk to the day she entered heaven. The worst and hardest day of my life! It watched us go through the motions of the service, then the getting up the next day. That was so hard. This year continually sees us get up each morning, realizing we are one day farther from her heaven day, yet one day closer to seeing her again. Living without her is HARD!

Each of these hard things were HARD in their own timing. What I thought was hard back 20 years ago, looks easier on this side of it. What I see as hard today seems like it will never get easier and honestly, I am not sure it will. It may be like amputating a limb of your body. You can live without it, but you never forget you once had it and no longer do. You will forever miss it. It will even cause you physical pain. I will forever miss my sweet Millie. Her heaven going will hurt until I join her.

As I have walked through the last year, I have had people say “what you are going through is so hard (yes, it is!) I could never survive that!” but reality is, you do not get a choice. What I am going through is hard, but so is your hard. No matter what your hard is, to you it is hard. It could be a sickness of yourself or a child. Maybe the death of a pet, an elderly family member or even your child. It could be the loss of your job, your home, or your financial standing. There are so many HARDS in this life. The only way we make it through is to look to Jesus. To rest in him, knowing that he can and will make beauty from the ashes of our pain.

Isaiah 61:1-3

The Year of the LORD’s Favor

61 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

because the LORD has anointed me

to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]

2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor

and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor.

God can and will use our pain for his purpose if we allow it. He did not cause our pain, but his will can be worked through it. He can cause all things to work together for good…

Romans 8:28

28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.

This verse does NOT say ALL THINGS ARE GOOD… rather that in all things God works for our good. That is a huge difference that is often misunderstood. We want to blame God for the bad things, the pain, and we sure don’t want it to be called good, but that is not the heart of this scripture. His heart is a heart of restoration and renewal that will not be fully realized until heaven.

Often when others share their pain with us, trying to find common ground, they can cause an offence. Almost a silent war of “well my pain is greater than yours” wells up in our hearts. As believers, that attitude is WRONG. We are called to have a heart of compassion. Scripture tells us:

Romans 12:15

15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

The essence of this scripture is to lay aside your own pain, pick up your friends’ pain and weep with them. Meaning stop for the moment and focus on what they are saying “I’m hurting and need to be heard.”

For myself, when I know someone is hurting, I must remind myself that their pain is HARD, not ‘my pain is harder’. I try to lay aside my grief and simply hear them, acknowledge them, and love them. This weekend that was done for me. At the Ladies “While We are Waiting Retreat”, the leaders laid down their pain for a few moments and focused solely on the mom that was sharing. Each of the attendees had major pain in their lives, yet they paused and gave me a set time to share my pain. They had a heart of compassion. That is the true essence of a life lived in Christ…

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲.