Have you noticed my writing changing the last few weeks— or months??
I have noticed but I couldn’t put my finger on it.
When Millie first passed I was clinging so desperately to Jesus that I was overflowing with his peace.
My faith was strong.
My walk was sure in spite of the pain.
Some things have changed now, but others have not. Year two has been HARD, maybe harder than year one. Not the pain, that never changes, but the long-term realization that this is now our life until we join Millie in heaven.
I am still clinging to Jesus, maybe more desperately now.
My faith is still strong.
My walk is not so steady, more he is now carrying me as I move through each day.
I have had to go back to scripture and remind myself of what I believe. Sometimes well-meaning people, repeating well-meaning phrases, actually hurt our walk with Christ. Over the last few months, I had been ingesting a few of those, chewing on them, and having to decide if they truly represented God as I understand him. David and I have had many discussions between ourselves over our beliefs about salvation and heaven.
So why do I share this? I think it is important to share that though my faith is strong, my flesh is weak and tattered. I am more dependent on Jesus than ever before, but that doesn’t keep me from forgetting to lean into him. I opened my Bible journal this morning and realized that 7 days had gone without reading God’s word in personal study.
Yes I have prayed…
Yes I have attended church…
Yes I have studied in my Wednesday and Sunday class…
Yes I have praised listening to Christian music…
But no, I forgot to open God’s word, read, and meditate on his life-giving words.
How? How does that happen? How did I get so distracted in my life?
Because I allowed other things to jump the front of the line. I told myself—after I “drive the kids to school” or “after I serve breakfast” or “after I have checked my email” each morning that I would come back later and read his word. My intentions were right, but my misplaced priorities were not.
Psalm 5:3
“In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice;
In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.”
Psalm 88:13
“But I, O Lord, have cried out to You for help,
And in the morning my prayer comes before You.”
Psalm 59:16
“But as for me, I shall sing of Your strength;
Yes, I shall joyfully sing of Your lovingkindness in the morning,
For You have been my stronghold
And a refuge in the day of my distress.”
This morning I rose earlier with a song in my heart and on my lips—Give Me Jesus:
1 In the morning when I rise,
in the morning when I rise,
in the morning when I rise,
give me Jesus.
Refrain:
Give me Jesus,
give me Jesus;
you may have all this world;
give me Jesus.
2 Dark midnight was my cry,
dark midnight was my cry,
dark midnight was my cry,
give me Jesus. [Refrain]
3 Just about the break of day,
just about the break of day,
just about the break of day,
give me Jesus. [Refrain]
4 Oh, when I come to die,
oh, when I come to die,
oh, when I come to die,
give me Jesus. [Refrain]
I had never heard this hymn until our church music Minister introduced me to it. So simply yet compelling. So direct and focused on our relationship with Jesus.
I hope my transparency has encouraged you. We all get distracted in life. We all have times where our priorities are out of whack. If it has been a while since you sought out an intimate time with Jesus, it’s never to late. Open his word, read, and meditate on it. Seek him out as readily as you seek out media, food, and sleep.
Give me Jesus…
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
☆｡･:*:･ﾟ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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