We prayed for a miracle which God granted in heaven. Daily we walk the path of grief, ever leaning on Jesus for our comfort. Until we meet again Millie, always remember you are forever loved and missed!

Tuesday, August 25, 2020

Even a child...

 

 Today was a good day to just stay HOME.  We had a slow morning, doing our household chores, then some school, and a long Lego building time. After lunch we finished up with school, then I was able to grab a quick nap.  Finally, in the late afternoon I was able to work on my current project.  I am trying daily to get our digital photos sorted into files from the last 3 years.  I have worried that with so many photos on phones that we may lose precious memories of Millie if a phone gets lost or broken.  I’ve struggled to convince the others in our house to take the time to share their pictures.  I don’t know if it is because sorting them right now is too painful or if they just don’t want to take the time, but either way it has been somewhat of a frustration.  I am searching for videos of Millie as a baby. We did a good job of taking videos and photos the year of her cancer treatments, but not as good before that.  I don’t only want to remember her as a child with cancer. I want to tell the bigger story of her life.  Our life stories… our testimonies are very important. 

Proverbs 22:1 – “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold.”

This verse reminds us how important our name or testimony is.  It is of the greatest value. It is literally how people view us.  During homeschool today, Little Man, SJ, and I talked about being known by their deeds.  We discussed how if a person always does something like lying, they become known as a liar.

Proverbs 20:11 “Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.”

It’s interesting to note this verse says, “even a child”.  Isn’t that true?  Some children are known because they whine a lot.  Others are known for being sneaky or lying. Still others have a reputation of being bratty.  We have all had that instance where we know a certain child is coming to visit and his reputation precedes him. Of course, this holds true for adults too.  Do we avoid the woman we know as a ‘gossip’? Or the man who is a ‘hot head’? Maybe we roll our eyes when the neighbor shows up to ‘borrow’ another too?  Our doings do give us a name…  I want my name to be one of Jesus follower.

 

A parallel thought is that sometimes the ‘doing’ we are known by is not really who we are.  We are going through something that is causing our behavior to be different.  In early 2019, our sweet Millie became our ‘not so sweet’ whiny, clingy child.  Many times, I heard “She’s acting like a brat.  All she does is cry”. It was true!  She was hard to be around because she was so unhappy.  However, in June 2019, we found out she was fighting cancer. Our sweet girl had been feeling sick all those months and we couldn’t see it.  Yes, we knew she was sick… a little sniffle, a fever here and there.  Three doctors’ appointments for the sickness, but never any deeper indication of cancer.  This is an instance where you want to kick yourself.  You want to ask WHY didn’t I see the bigger picture? Because we just don’t.  We are human, we make mistakes. We need grace for others, but also for ourselves.

I’ll leave you with the thought “What are you known for?” and “Who do you need to have grace on?”

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