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My first goal of 2022 is complete.
I have a stack of partially read books that call to me. They beg for me to gain their wisdom and breathe in their words.
Tonight I finished a gift, a true gift from a friend back in 2010. I even found the card tucked into the front cover, faded and worn, encouraging me to enjoy this book.
I started the book and began journaling the thousand things I was thankful for immediately upon opening the packaging. Some things on my list were mundane and common, others were exceptional and very exciting.
I was drawn to this book but often laid it aside as the author uses overwhelmingly deep imagery to convey her search for gratitude in her ordinary life.
Over the years I would also lay my gratitude journal aside for a time, but periodically come back around to it adding a few new lines of recognition. I always had the intention to finish both the book and the journal, but had yet to complete either.
When Millie was diagnosed, my heart was drawn to expressing my gratitude of the ordinary, the difficult, the extreme, and even the devastating. Daily I searched for the words to share that even as my heart was shattering, I still was so grateful for the gifts that God had provided.
Those lists—those written reminders help to walk past the “nevers” and realign my heart to the “thank you Jesus”.
Millie will never lose her first tooth, but I am so grateful I was there when she first cut her baby teeth.
She will never write her name, but I find little scribbles in the pages of my Bible that she left as my love letter.
Millie’s body was not healthy during her life, but I am so grateful she doesn’t have the pain and trauma of cancer any longer.
As daddy and I discussed yesterday, when our hearts cried out for healing and we felt all was lost that she wasn’t healed on earth, we were reminded that she received the ultimate healing. Even if God had healed her of cancer, she would still have pain and trials in this fallen word. Heaven however was her ultimate healing. She will never again face the pain, disappointment, and loss of this world. Death has no hold on her now.
“O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”
1 Corinthians 15:5
This thought is wonderful and wondrous while still being heart wrenching. It doesn’t stop our tears from falling but it does remind us what we grieve for.
The grief is for ourselves living without Millie. It’s for the past memories and the lost future. It’s for the first day of school, the high school graduation, and guiding her down the aisle. Our grief is for our broken hearts. Our grief is not for her. We could never be sad for her receiving her final reward. She lived her short life to the fullest and now will forever be whole, healthy, and happy.
Now we will live our remaining days remembering the gifts we treasure and noting our gratitude in both the ordinary and extraordinary blessings of this life.
May you find Eucharist (gratitude) in both the sweet and the broken moments of life. It continually infuses our souls with a calm restful reassurance that God cares for us even in life’s troubles.
Blessings sweet friends…
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
☆｡･:*:･ﾟ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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