For 30 days I have shared what cancer has done in our lives and to our baby girl Millie.
The heartache, the fear, the pain, and the end.
𝗘𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁… for in our family and many others the part that has no end is the 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛.
I could start to name all the children I know who have been attacked by this disease, battled hard, but lost the fight—yet I won’t. There are too many!
I could share all my friend’s stories of their precious babies and what they went through—but again I am afraid I would leave one out. Each child… each family… each story is so deep, so painful, so filled with real people and LIFE before it came to their death.
So instead, I will take you back into our story—Millie’s story and our grief.
When we chose where we would lay Millie’s body to rest, it was in a cemetery that many of our older generations were buried in. It was about 10 miles from our home in a direction that I only headed about once a month. After we enrolled our girls in public school this year, we pass that cemetery 2-3 times a day. TWO to THREE times a day I drive past and think, “Maybe I should go to the cemetery. I could drive through and make sure her grave is okay. I don’t have to get out. I could visit her for a few minutes”. This daily conversation goes on in my head and then I talk myself out of it. I haven’t told anyone about it other than the Lord. I just know as I come to the cemetery that I will start thinking the same line of thought, “Maybe I should…” It is such a surreal feeling that the little body I cared for would be laying in the cemetery so close, yet so far from my reach.
However, the other side of me realizes that she is not there. Her earthly body that betrayed her is there. Her cancer filled body is there. The closest thing I have left of her is there, but SHE has gone home! Her sweet and sassy spirit is gone. Her personality is gone. Her earthly life is only a memory now. Again, the hope of heaven becomes so much closer and much sweeter when part of your heart lives there.
Blessings sweet friends,
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
☆｡･:*:･ﾟ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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