We prayed for a miracle which God granted in heaven. Daily we walk the path of grief, ever leaning on Jesus for our comfort. Until we meet again Millie, always remember you are forever loved and missed!

Saturday, May 21, 2022

A Giver and A Receiver


“I aspire to be a giver. A giver of love, a giver of hope, and a signpost that points to Christ, the ultimate giver.” (giving)
“Sometimes asking for help is the bravest thing you can do. You don’t have to face life alone.” (receiving)
“Learn to light a candle in the darkest moments of someone’s life. Be the light that helps others see; it is what gives life its deepest significance.” ― Roy T. Bennett (giving)
“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and humble enough to accept it.” (receiving)
During my life there are many times I have been a giver, ministering to others needs. Just as frequently I have been on the receiving end, allowing others to step into my darkest hours and bring joy from ashes. Some days, like today, I have lived and walked through both almost in a simultaneous dance. Being able to step into both roles equally is important. Millie’s illness taught David and I both that we should not steal the blessings of allowing others to serve us. It also taught us that the time will come when we are to be the blessing givers to other hurting people.
My morning started with an hour-long drive into the city for my insurance wellness check. This annual event usually takes less than 10 minutes, but today was almost 40 minutes long. After I checked in, I noticed a friend’s hubby across the room and felt a prompting to go hug him as a fellow (expectant) grieving parent. I don’t usually hug men not my husband, but this warranted reaching out and telling him to take that hug straight home to his lovely wife who is carrying their precious baby that has received a terminal diagnosis. The waiting for loss can be excruciating… I know that all too well.
Then as my turn to speak to the wellness doctor came, he ministered to me. He listened about my precious Millie’s life. He asked me if he could pray over me right there and in his prayer he prayed for the people that Millie’s story would reach—He prayed for YOU! All without me telling him Millie even had a page, let alone so many people who followed along and loved her so.
As I left the appointment I was only a few miles from Children’s hospital. I immediately felt a need to go visit one of my fellow cancer mom friends and her beautiful daughter. They have received some pretty heartbreaking news this week and I remember all too well that sinking feeling of wanting to do something, anything—yet there is nothing you can do of your own power. Friends they need prayer. For their privacy I won’t share names, but Jesus knows when you lift her up to him and beg for healing. He is able!
Before I got into the hospital to visit with them, I drove around the parking garage and cried. My eyes welled up realizing that for the first time in almost 2 years I would be going upstairs to “10 West”, our home away from home. I can still hear Millie flinging open the doors to the floor and announcing, “I home to my hospital!” as she ran to embrace her nurses she loved so.
As I drove in circles searching for the elusive parking spot, I called my dear friend who prayed audibly over me, understanding the strength I needed to make myself go upstairs without my girl. Every hallway, each elevator, the rooms, even the colored tiles on the floor all screams memories of her and whispers the reminder that she is not here now. As the prayer ended, I exited the car a little more ready to face what was ahead. I entered the floor looking for my friend. I first met the nurses who knew me—the ones who cared for and loved Millie. They immediately embraced me and asked how I was doing being back up there. It was deeper than ‘How are you?’ rather it was “How are you handling this?” I’m grateful to be seen by others who understand my hurts.
Next, I located my sweet friend who happened to be with another mama friend of mine. More hugs! Then God gave me the opportunity to listen to her heart and truly see her need, just as mine had been seen moments earlier. We laughed and talked and even cried a bit for almost 3 hours. A precious 3 hours that I was so glad to give to my friend.
While walking through the hallways, I was able to meet another new friend. One that I have talked to on the phone since her 2-year-old was diagnosed last fall but had yet to meet in person. The little boy Tucker and I had a great talk, along with his big brother, about all things farm life. We discussed all our animals we had on the farm, how the racoons ate the chicks (at their house too!) and how mean roosters can be. They were delightful children who did a great job holding a conversation without being intimated. It made me smile.
As I headed back to my car for the ride home, I reflected on many things. Pulling up to my mailbox I found a letter addressed to me. Upon opening it, a precious gift slid out. My little friend---Millie’s friend--- Ady had made Millie a picture. Her mama Ashley knew my heart needed to see it and she was right. Anything from Ady or about her life brings me such joy. Ady is a survivor from the same cancer Millie fought. Ady has the kindest and most compassionate heart that seems to know when “Millie’s mama and daddy” need a hug. She is a blessing to our life!
Yes, throughout the day I was able to give love, comfort, even laughter to others. I was also able to receive joy, compassion, and understanding from others. The ebbs and flows of grief, are much like the ebbs and flows of life. There is a place and time for each. Accepting them gently allows us to embrace what other’s have for us.
“To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:” –Eccl 3:1
~Telling Christ’s story {Because of Millie}
Blessings sweet friends…
☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
☆。・:*:・゚ Hebrews 11:1 。・:*:・゚☆

Thursday, May 19, 2022

Meeting Mr Vanderquack

 Dear friends,

What a busy time of year isn’t it? Graduations, awards ceremonies, end of year activities, weddings (or in our case wedding planning!).
School finished up today for all the public schooled kids. Both big girls made the honor rolls, in addition to receiving class awards in their respective grades.
I’m still going strong with the little ones for a few more weeks. We like to take time off during the school year and catch up during the hot time of year. Each day after school the two little ones head out to the horse trough for some swim time. Funny thing is, it is a horse trough, but we bought it just for swimming –Farm life!
Otherwise around the farm, we finished up calving our last spring calf this week. A sweet little one who didn’t get the message that everyone else arrived in early April. Then we went out that same day to find that a pesky racoon had broken into the hen house killing 5 of our 6 new birds. The cats have all had kittens, six little ones play on the porch and nurse off whatever mama is available when they are hungry. The mama cats seem content to split the baby care duties.
I have made a few trips to the city over the last week on different errands. One very interesting one allowed me the chance to meet a large yellow duck.
---yes you read that right
------I got invited to meet Mr. Vanderquack
In case you have never heard of him, he is a really cool little guy who I believe goes by the name of Junior in person. He travels around the 50 states in various jeeps, sightseeing, meeting interesting people, and raising money for the kids he left back home at St. Jude’s Hospital. His goal this year is $250,000.
I met up with him at the Oklahoma State Capital. I made sure and wore my “No One Fights Alone” t-shirt with the #MilliesMiracle hashtag on the back. If Millie were here, she would have enjoyed meeting Junior riding in his Lime Green Jeep accompanied by Kathryn. We took pictures, gave hugs, and were off, headed for home. (Check the comments section for the link to his adventures) #mrvanderquackjunior
Finally, this week has had me working with a self-publishing company on the children’s book. I am still preparing it to get ready for printing. I can’t wait to see it in the hands of families who need it. This year I hope!
--and if you have read it, well I’ve rewritten and changed so much that it might sound like a different story—Looking forward to sharing the updated version.
~Telling Christ’s story {Because of Millie}
Blessings sweet friends…
☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
☆。・:*:・゚ Hebrews 11:1 。・:*:・゚☆

Monday, May 16, 2022

Lift your eyes


Growing Through Grief
—republished from Praying Through ministries
To the parent who wonders what good could come from the terrible loss of their child, I want to scream, “NONE!”
Yet that’s not entirely true. Death has done so much more in our family than taken our daughter. It has forever changed us. We are not the same people we were before we heard the dreaded diagnosis that would steal our child away. It changed our children and our parents. It strengthened some of our friendships and damaged others. It rearranged our lives in ways that we had never considered.
So, while I would never want this set of circumstances in my life – I would rather have my baby safely in my arms – I can also see how these trials of loss make us stronger. They force us to rely on God. They bond us together as parents more than ever before. They give us a pinpoint focus on what we want in life. They are spurring us to have hard conversations, to seek tools to change what needs to be different, and to cherish the ordinary in our lives. They convict us to be more intentional, faithful, and devoted to what we believe.
Have we arrived at all of these things? Of course not!
But as God whispers to our hearts, we are learning to lean a little closer and listen a little longer. We both WANT to personally know the heart of God and be in his will for our lives.
We WANT a dynamic marriage that honors God in everything we do.
We would love nothing more than for our children and grandchildren to love Jesus.
We want to hear Jesus say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23, NIV).
I have learned that good things can come from intense sorrow, but only if you lift your eyes to Jesus. This does not make the loss easier or less painful, but it makes it survivable. And only in Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, is that possible.
"Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." -Hebrews 12:2 NIV
By: Courtney Mount - Millie’s mom
© 2022 PRAYING THROUGH ministries�
Blessings sweet friends…
☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
☆。・:*:・゚ Hebrews 11:1 。・:*:・゚☆

Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Is Barely Enough?

 “Barely is Enough” I read today.

I won’t lie… this has been a hard week.
Maybe month? Or let’s go back for a few years?
Actually, it’s life. I’m sure life is hard in general, not just for me, but most people feel that don’t they?
We spend so much of our time and energy trying to get through it that we are too exhausted to enjoy it.
I invest so much into wanting to do it “right” yet I often feel I am falling short.
Where does that ‘right’ concept come from? I base my right on scripture, but there are also a lot of pressures from the world to take into account.
There is the comparison factor of everywhere someone knows how to be healthy, how to be a great wife, how to be an awesome mother. There are how to books and steps for living intentional to achieving goals and ideas. We are all working so hard to get it right!
And yet… the real stuff, the most important part, salvation, isn’t works based!
Oh, how grateful I am for that. I don’t have to do anything; I only need to believe. Wow!
Jesus gives me the REST and reprieve from this hurried life.
He meets my needs, and your needs too if you are feeling like I am.
So, as we walk through hurting relationships, health issues, changing futures, financial impacts, and finishing up seasons in life, I hope you, like me can remember what brings peace and rest.
--Then will you drop me a comment reminding me every so often? Check out the article I linked in the first comment about “Barely being Enough”
~Telling Christ’s story {Because of Millie}
Blessings sweet friends…
☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆ 。・:*:・゚★
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
☆。・:*:・゚ Hebrews 11:1 。・:*:・゚☆