In my dreams, I stopped at the hospital to visit another cancer family. I met a mama I did not know as she brought a cute little bald child into the room. Quickly a memory passed over me as I recalled the feeling of the smooth baby skin of Millie’s head pressed to my lips each night.
I turned my attention back to watch her little one as he played so innocently moving from one thing to the next in the room.
I opened my mouth to be an encouragement to the mama saying, “Don’t worry, this will all be over soon.” I think I meant to tell her ‘your cancer journey will be completed soon’, but I paused in horror as I could not decide if I was saying it would be over because of his healing or his death. I woke up with this child and his mama heavy on my mind. The uneasiness hung over my heart throughout the morning.
Cancer is unsettling.
It is painful, both physically and emotionally.
Cancer asked us to do things we know we are not strong enough to do.
It forces us to learn everything outside our comfort zone.
Cancer requires trusting others with your most precious gift.
Cancer destroys everything it touches. Whether you are healed or not, the old you will never be the same.
Grief mimics cancer. It’s painful, physically and emotionally.
It requires strength we don’t have.
Grief takes away everything we know and forces a new normal.
It required me to hand my baby over to others, never to hold her tiny body again.
Grief destroyed who we were as a couple, as parents, and as a family.
Just as cancer can profoundly change you, so can your grief.
It makes you more compassionate. Your eyes are more aware of the hurting that surrounds you. It can give you more grace toward others. Grief can break you so thoroughly that the new you will not resemble the old. 
The Love of God can do the same. When we can see and acknowledge our brokenness, then our need for Jesus becomes so much more evident. He is our strength when we are weak. We are remade! I praise God that he can continue to mold and make me despite my brokenness.
Blessings sweet friends…
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
☆｡･:*:･ﾟ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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