Hello pumpkin

 

Happy Fall Y’all!

For those of you who are not southerners, y’all is a friendly word for ‘you all’. It also cutely rhymes with fall… It’s a phrase I have used for many years, but this year it seems to feel a little different.

Daddy and I went to the store to buy decorations for Millie’s grave this week. As I stood there with my guy, surrounded by my very favorite season …leaves, pumpkins, and sunflowers …along with lots of orange, red, yellow, and brown, I surveyed what to buy that would make Millie’s place look cared for and cared about. Everything I picked up almost seemed like a slap— “Blessed” “Grateful” “Happy Fall” or some other encouraging saying. Honestly, decorating a grave doesn’t give you very many reasons to be encouraged.

Yes, I know I am blessed.

Yes, I am grateful.

Yes, this fall will be happy.

But—BUT—Really, none of that is appropriate for honoring your little girl and her resting place.

I started to walk away and leave it all, then I came back and put a few flowers and a leaf garland in the cart. David picked up a metal pumpkin and I got a scarecrow, but we put those back on the shelf. Finally, we settled on a simple sign that said, “Hello pumpkin” … she was our sweet little pumpkin girl so that at least seemed a little more appropriate.

Grief—

Everything about it is new territory without a map. Everything that seems easy, is really very hard. Decisions quickly overwhelm your mind, feeling flooded with overwhelming emotions, and tears leaking out in inappropriate places (like the aisle of a store) becomes the new normal.

Will it ever be different? I am sure that like the changing of the seasons, the changing of my grief will become a rotation that I will walk through as readily as the months repeatedly pass. There will be dark winters, hope-filled springs, enduring summers, and slower falls to come for many years, Lord willing. Through all of this the words that I stood and looked at on those signs—Blessed, Grateful, Happy –all become much clearer if I begin to view them through the hope of heaven.

I am so incredibly blessed with a GOOD Man in my life. I am blessed to have children and grandchildren. I am blessed by parents and friends.

I am grateful to be a mama. I am grateful for the years Millie was in my care. I am grateful that I have a relationship with Jesus.

I am happy as I walk through this life knowing who wins in the end. Knowing that I will see my girl again in heaven brings great joy...deeper than happiness.

Thank you Lord for the HOPE of HEAVEN to a grieving heart.

“𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐲 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.” -𝐁𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐆𝐫𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐦

"𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒃𝒚 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒔𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒇𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒊𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈; 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒇𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑮𝒐𝒅, 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒍𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔, 𝒔𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒂𝒔𝒕. 𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑, 𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝑱𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔, 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝑮𝒐𝒅 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒅, 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎." 𝑬𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒔 2:8-10

Blessings sweet friends…

☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　｡･:*:･ﾟ★

I still believe in Millie’s Miracle

☆｡･:*:･ﾟ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵

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