Trust | Definition of Trust by Merriam-Websterwww.merriam-webster.com
1 : firm belief in the character, strength, or truth of someone or something He placed his trust in me.
2 : a person or thing in which confidence is placed.
3 : confident hope I waited in trust of their return.
4 : a property interest held by one person or organization (as a bank) for the benefit of another.
Trust in God is often taught at an early age. It is something people say, “We trust Millie’s in a better place” or “We have to trust that God knows better than we do”. All these are true, but how often do we live our lives by trust? How often does your level of trust in God change your whole perspective?
<<<What I’m going to share tonight is an area God has called David and I to trust HIM in. We are not telling you to do the same. We do not claim to know what area God asks you to trust. I want to make that abundantly clear. We are each called to a different walk. Sometimes that might look similar, but often it will not and that is okay. We each are called differently.>>>
Tonight, you will read some of our life testimony. David and I married very young and had 3 beautiful children by the age of 22/21. At that time were often told we had our hands full with our children and should consider ‘fixing that’. Our hearts said our family wasn’t done, but it did seem prudent to listen to the wisdom of others. We already had a large family with 3 children. We scheduled the surgery in September 1998.
For the next few years life moved along, the children grew older. We started attending a new church where they valued children to the extent that they often preached about how they were a blessing from the Lord. One Sunday they had a Mother’s prayer service for any woman who wanted to conceive. They could come down front and the church would pray over them. As we sat through this service, our older daughter kept elbowing me and saying “mom, why are you going down there? Don’t you want another baby?” With a sad heart I kept ‘shushing” her. I did not go forward to pray for another baby. I knew barring a miraculous healing, God would not be sending us any more children.
Psalms 127:3 says “Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.”
That service however opened our eyes and heart to the possibility that we had not trusted God to do what he wanted in our lives. We didn’t know if he would have had us have just 3 children or many more. We were brought face to face with the fact that we took it in our own hands, destroying what God had made, and choosing to be in ‘control’ of our lives. We became convinced that our lack of trust in such a HUGE area of life was not where God wanted us to stay. He was whispering in our hearts “What if? What if you trusted me in that area? What would it look like?” We started praying, first that God would repair the damage we did, but then that he would give us the courage to have a reversal.
Finally, in early 2002, the Lord arranged the details in such a way that there was no doubt who was in control. A surgery that we had priced out over $10,000 was made possible for about $2100, an amount we already had in hand. We scheduled the surgery for March. While we would have loved to have another child, that was not our motivation. We WANTED to allow God to control every aspect of our life. “Was that scary?”, you might ask. Absolutely! Never in our marriage had we not kept control of where we were going in life (or so we thought then). Because this was about trust, we never went back to confirm if the surgery worked. We just trusted that God would send what he deemed we needed in our lives.
King David said in Psalms 9:10 “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Three months later, we conceived. I remember in September we were gathered as a family having prayer time when daddy prayed “and bless the new baby growing in mom’s tummy”, the children went wild! They were so excited! Our oldest daughter prayed for a little sister. One day in March, almost a year to the day of the reversal, big sister was handed her new sister as soon as she was born. What a precious moment to greet your sister with such love in your eyes. We had Miss K at home and so could have the children there as she arrived. The boys were woken up and they too were enthralled with this tiny sister.
Eighteen months later I conceived another sweet baby. Miss K and Miss M are just 26 months apart and the best of friends since day one. However, now I was nervous. “Lord what if a baby arrives every 2 years? I might have 8 more (13!) kids by the age of 45”. It was something to consider. I do have multiple friends that have a baby every year. Again, we heard “Can you trust me?” Our next sweet baby Miss A arrived 30 months later. In October 2010, I had an early miscarriage but then had SJ the next summer. SJ arrived with premature lung issues and spent 10 days in the NICU. Again, “Can you continue to trust me to send who I desire to have in your family?” Little Man arrived 33 months later in 2014 and was fine for about an hour after birth. At that time, he went into distress. Once again, we had a baby loaded up by Medflight and transported to Children’s Hospital. Once again, we were in the same room, with the same nurses, who even remembered us from over 2 year earlier. He stayed there 19 days, having a spinal tap, strong antibiotics, and all the monitors. With tears in our eyes we wondered “Can we trust you Lord? How can we keep having babies that are sick? Our hearts can’t take a chance.” He answered in that still small voice. “Trust me, my child. I love these children as much as you do”.
Finally, Sweet Millie arrived in November 2016. She came into this world quickly, barely allowing me time to get out of the car and into the delivery room. She was perfectly healthy! We took her home and had no health issues. She grew strong, healthy, chubby, and cute for two years. Then in February 2019 we begin to notice little colds, night sweats, fussiness, all the signs we never knew pointed to childhood cancer. When we walked into Children’s Hospital on June 20, 2019 and were sent up to the 10 floor Oncology department, as the tears started to fall, we knew we still had to trust.
God’s word says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5
Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared beneath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known you'd ever say goodbye
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have to miss the dance
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all
And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance
Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance
No, I don’t believe in chance, but it’s so true that we could have missed this pain by not having these last 6 children, but we would have missed “the dance”. Something I would not want to give up! So many precious memories with all our children. Thirty years of JOY… Three years with Amelia JOY – Millie. Years I’m so thankful for.
Philippians 1:3-6
3 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,
4 Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy,
5 For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now;
6 Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
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